New Police Rule Instructs Black Cops Not To Carry Guns To Avoid Being Shot By Easily Frightened White Cops


St. Louis, MO—

Following the recent controversy of a white, on-duty police officer shooting his off-duty, black colleague after reportedly mistaking him for a criminal and feeling threatened, the St. Louis police department has instituted a new gun rule in order to promote safety.

As a precaution, black police officers are now being instructed not to carry firearms, even while on-duty.

“I’ve considered our department protocols, and I am confident that this new rule makes everyone safer,” said Police Chief Robert M. McMann. “It’s just too dangerous for our black officers, even when they are wearing uniforms, to be carrying guns because our white cops are just too threatened by strong looking black men in the heat of the moment. When white cops have surging adrenaline, it’s tough for them to distinguish between African-American criminals and their African-American colleagues, even when they have been on the force for years.”

The new rule has inspired outrage from black community members, who say this is just another symptom of the city’s obvious race problems.

“Why doesn’t Chief McMann take away the guns from white cops?” asked St. Louis resident Damian Duke, who voiced his opposition to the new rule at last night’s public city hall meeting. “It’s the white cops who seem to have the problem shooting their black coworkers.”

The police department issued a statement this morning in response Duke’s question, which received hundreds of responses when posted to the city’s Facebook page, saying that the vast majority of the city’s police officers were white.

“In a perfect world, there would be no police-on-police crime,” the statement began. “But the reality is that if we took guns away from white officers, our police force would be wildly unprotected while defending against violent criminals. The safest choice for the city is to disarm black cops, and city residents should be able to agree that black officers are much safer this way.”

*This story is developing.*


This evening, Chief McMann announced a second new rule intended to make policing safer for black officers. Black officers have been instructed from now on to wear bright orange vests at all times while on-duty so that white officers don’t accidentally mistake black officers for criminals.

(Photo courtesy of Bianca Farrow.)

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