Donald Trump: “Thank You, Kanye, For Doubling My African-American Poll Numbers From 1% To 2%!”

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Washington D.C.—

Kanye West’s recent pro-Trump media parade has not gone unnoticed by the President, and Donald Trump took to Twitter this morning to thank Kanye for his support.

“Thanks Kanye! No one can ever call me racist again because of you. Because if I’m supposedly racist, why does one individual black person support me? Explain that, FAKE NEWS!”

Mr. West has received quite a bit of negative reactions to his public show of support for Trump, and many critics in the media have similarly taken offense to Kanye’s views on slavery. West previously described the 400 years in which African-Americans were enslaved in North America as a “choice,” and the comment received a lot of backlash on social media websites with commentators noting the irony of West’s past remarks about his never reading books with his apparent ignorance of the brutality in which slavery was enforced.

Mr. West, however, doubled down on his insistence that if he had been a slave he would just choose not to be a slave. TMZ recorded the following Kanye rant:

“If I were a slave I’d just tell my overseer ‘thanks, but no thanks,’ Then I’d walk to the North at an easy, carefree pace without a worry in my free head and making music the whole way. I’d probably even stop at all the other plantations and do concerts, and after every show I’d tell all the slaves how easy it is to stop being a slave. I’d be like that guy Harry Tubman, and then I’d use my concert profits to buy everyone a ticket on the underground railroad and then they’d be up in Ohio in like five hours. So easy. Slavery is like a state of mind, and you don’t have to be imprisoned. Like, Jim Crow? What is that shit? I ain’t afraid of no birds. No crow is gonna keep me locked up.”

The TMZ crew stared at Kanye for a solid minute before Kanye broke the awkward silence by freestyling a rap about starting a new brand of cotton t-shirts.

(Photo courtesy of rodrigoferrari.)

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