Trump Fans Are Boycotting Crayola Crayons For Having Too Many “Immigrant Colors”

St. Charles, MO—

Some local supporters of President Donald Trump are launching another economic boycott campaign, this time against the crayon manufacturer Crayola.

Their complaint centers on their belief that Crayola is being too politically-correct by including brown, black, and other “immigrant color” crayons in every package.

“There is a black crayon, a brown crayon, a red crayon, a yellow crayon, several shades of Mexican and other tan skin colors, but only one white crayon,” explained Josh Heine, the Trump fan who launched the campaign on his website “If there are going to be so many crayons for blacks, hispanics, Asians, and Native Americans, we demand that, from now on, at least 51% of every crayon package needs to be shades of white to honor the fact that America is a white-majority country. So if there are 24 crayons in a box, at least 13 of them have to be white or a very pale peach color.”

Heine’s campaign has gone viral on right wing media, with several Fox News commentators endorsing the crayon boycott, including Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham.

“This isn’t racist,” said Mr. Carlson on his radio show yesterday. “It’s about wanting Crayola to accurately depict the racial makeup of our country. I understand boxes of mostly white crayons will severely limit the coloring options of children who want to color pictures, but I think that’s actually a valuable lesson for kids about America being a white country. And this doesn’t mean Crayola has to stop making brown, black, red and yellow varieties, they could make a whole promotion out of it. They could sell tons of different boxes with different themes of foreign countries’ skin colors, like an African box full of browns and blacks, or an Asian box full of yellows, or a Native American box full of reds. By selling every major color separately according to race, Crayola might actually be able to sell way more boxes this way!”

Crayola released a statement that Heine’s boycott has had no discernible effect on their sales.

“We don’t think self-identifying racists make up that big of a share of our consumer base, and, also, Crayola has never given in to threats motivated by racism and we won’t start now,” said Crayola spokesperson Jim Booker.

Heine’s crayon boycott is not the first boycott campaign he’s launched. Previous boycotts include the following subjects:

  • Star Wars and Disney—for including black storm troopers in the latest films.
  • Marvel—for making movies centered on a woman superhero.
  • Any and every book published in America written by an ethnic minority.
  • Any product derived from peanuts—because George Washington Carver studied them.
  • James Bond—because producers floated the idea of Idris Elba getting cast as the spy.
  • $5 bills—because Thomas Jefferson had sex with a slave.
  • Buses—because black people no longer have to sit in the back.
  • Public water fountains—because black people might have drank from them.
  • Any company he sees that uses black actors and actresses in their print of television advertising, or any radio advertisement with a voice that “sounds black or Mexican.”

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(Picture courtesy of Dominique Godbout.)

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