Democrats Should Bring In Puerto Rico And DC As States, Get 4 Extra Senators

St. Louis, MO—

If Democrats win control of the full government—the White House, Senate and House—they should waste no time undoing the political cheatery of the Republican Party in recent decades.

Mitch McConnell stole a Supreme Court seat and has filled the judiciary with unqualified judges after years of denying President Obama his appointees. Republicans gerrymandered the tobacco juice out of the House to win seats while losing the national vote by massive margins. And Republicans have made a bit of a habit out of winning the Presidency without popular vote victories.

It’s time to undo the damage. When Democrats next get into full power, they should tell Mitch McConnell (assuming he doesn’t lose his own reelection bid this November) to go **** himself; end the filibuster; pass a sweeping voting rights act to end gerrymandering and disenfranchisement once and for all with automatic, mail-in voting on a national Voting Day holiday; reverse the Citizens United ruling as best as they can with a series of laws on campaign finance; raise the number of Supreme Court justices to 11 in order to steal back the liberal-leaning majority Americans voted for in six of the last seven elections; bring in Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and why not even Guam and the US Virgin Islands as states to get a total of eight new (likely) Democratic senators; and pass a cornucopia of regulatory laws to ensure a swamp monster like Donald Trump never gets elected again without Americans seeing their tax returns.

Republicans will scream and cry about how unfair all these measures are, but they all are merely making America a more democratic (small d, though inherently big D as well) representative nation. It’s not Democrats’ fault that fair elections are an obstacle to Republicans getting elected. Republicans should try having more popular platforms and policies. That’s a more fair and legal way of gaining political support.

Republicans are fully aware that the country is getting younger, bluer, and more diverse, and that their political power can only be preserved with systemic fraud, cheating, racism, and, increasingly with Trump, gun-toting intimidation if not overt threats of civic violence. Smart Republicans understand that they have won the popular vote only once since 1988, and, not surprising, they’ve suddenly become fundamentalists on the issue of the Electoral College because it’s apparently the only way they will ever be able to win the Presidency again.

On issues from climate change to gun control, from science research to infrastructure investment, and from healthcare to wage growth, America has essentially lost two decades and fallen to the back of the developed world thanks to Republican cheating, mindless Obama-era obstruction, ideological delusions not supported by reality, and the epic mistake of Donald Trump. No more.

And why not take a page out of Mitch McConnell’s book and be the most brazen, cynical partisans Democrats can be? If there’s a North Dakota and a South Dakota, why not an East Puerto Rico and a West Puerto Rico? Each half would still have twice as many people as North Dakota.

Or Democrats could give Republicans a taste of their own democratic subterfuge. If Republicans close hundreds of voting places in dense cities to make typical Democratic voters have to wait hours in line to vote, maybe Democrats should indiscriminately close hundreds of polling places in rural America so that typical Republican voters have to drive for hours to vote. Just kidding, that would be cruel. Liberals are affected by the despair of existential responsibility.

But maybe Democrats can more often ask themselves the question “What Would Mitch Do?”

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