Trump Voter Realizes His Crap Life Will Never Be Improved By The GOP

Cleveland, OH—

Long-time Republican Voter Arnold Bierman, 49, today had an epiphany that the Republican Party’s policies on socio-economic issues would never improve his life.

“I was just sitting at my table eating my breakfast oatmeal, when the most enlightening idea suddenly struck me!” exclaimed Bierman. “I was thinking about how Ohio is such a rust belt state, and how our young people have suck bleak futures because of crap-life syndrome, and I realized that the GOP has been pretty much the driver of America’s capitalistic race to the bottom with Republicans’ free trade, laissez-faire, and neoliberal economic policies encouraging factories to move to developing nations and directly leading to American manufacturing’s disappearance. Thanks to the GOP, wages of the working class have stagnated accordingly, and a disproportionate majority of wealth creation has gone to the economic elite ever since! This was further exacerbated by Republican taxation policies that have allowed the super rich to hide their money outside America, and pay lower effective tax rates than blue collar workers such as myself. So the mega rich are essentially getting all the benefits of making money in America, while investing as little as humanly possible back into America to continue keeping it great for everyone else. It’s economic exploitation!”

Bierman paused for a moment, cracking open a beer.

“Then I got to thinking that, as cities across America experienced economic decline, conservatives slashed public benefits in the mathematically challenged expectation that willy-nilly tax cuts would help America’s budget problems, and the ensuing deficits led to more starve-the-beast cuts in social programs, which began to make Americans’ lives visibly worse in a host of ways. Then, Republicans fooled a bunch of largely rural and ex-urban voters to fear any Democratic plans to improve the faltering standard of living as socialism, and ginned up their motivation to vote with absurd slippery-slope fear-baiting about Democrats wanting to turn America communist, or take away all our guns, or abort every baby, or make being Christian illegal… despite the reality being that Democrats have only ever been offering fairly moderate solutions to problems that other modern nations adopted decades ago without their societies collapsing like Republicans claim will happen here. And, meanwhile, the crap-life syndrome has been festering and getting worse, and now our youth are hopelessly in debt, addicted to opiate drugs and overdosing at alarming rates, increasing the statistics in suicide and mental health problems, and are largely disgruntled and apathetic about their once great nation. I realized today that the Republican Party, by existentially opposing all liberal efforts to combat these issues no matter how small simply because they cost money up front before the future benefits and savings will compound many times over, are ruining their own rural and poor voters’ lives! The two things that would help every American is a universal healthcare option, and an increase in the minimum wage. Republicans hate both. But it’s been over ten years now since the last time the minimum wage went up. Which means that, every year, Americans are getting a pay cut, essentially, because inflation goes up 2% each year. So every single year, stagnant wages decreases Americans’ spending power. And Republicans continue to oppose raising wages because it’s bad for business. But ending child labor was bad for business! Giving workers weekends off of work was bad for business! Forty-hour work weeks were bad for business! Everything good for workers and humanity is bad for business in conservatives’ eyes! And who got American workers those great protections we now take for granted? Liberals! Who were called socialist back in their day. Is having a forty-hour week socialist? Of course not, it’s humane!”

Bierman took a drink from his beer.

“Republicans oppose trying any solutions to all the problems getting worse year after year because the solutions would have to cut into tax cuts for the super wealthy, or necessitate tax increases on them. And this aversion to tax increases of any kind is killing America, especially because our debt is only ever going up! We can’t cut taxes and pay off our debt, and the rich are just hoarding all the wealth they get to keep from the taxes. They’re barely creating any new jobs, they’re firing employees, and scrapping pensions and benefits. The GOP’s economic philosophies have been sucking out America’s life force and squeezing our middle class like a sponge to give every penny possible to the 1%, and they get votes from the 99% by giving lip service to gun owners and Christians who hate abortion. Single-issue voters vote Republican even though the economic elites and Republican establishment don’t care at all about guns, or Jesus, or country music, or whatever! They just care about money. When Republicans had the full Congress and Trump, the first thing they did was tax cuts! When Republicans had control in 2001, they took the rare budget surplus Clinton gave them and did tax cuts! Today I realized I’ve been voting for my country’s demise all these years I’ve voted Republican. And despite Democrats periodically getting elected and having control of the government, I’ve never lost my gun, had to convert to Islam, or seen my country turn communist. All along I was buying into wedge issues, and being suckered to vote against my own interests! I’m never voting Republican again, America just needs healthcare, higher wages, and liberal governmental protections of the little guy. It’s plain and simple. Rural, red states are routinely worse than urban, liberal states on all kinds of social, economic, and health-related metrics, and it’s time Democrats start trying to fix things, rather than Republicans trying to convince everyone that everything is fine the way it is! America ain’t fine, and hasn’t been for years!”

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