No Baby In The World Has Been Named “Donald” For The First Month Since 1802

St. Louis, MO—

According to the International Register of Baby Names (IRBN), no parent in any country in the world named their baby “Donald” last month.

The name’s popularity has been waning since its peak in 1936, when Donald was the 6th most popular baby boy name.

Since 2015, however, when President Donald Trump announced his presidential candidacy, the name’s popularity has plummeted. From 2015 to 2016, the name sank in popularity by 93% alone.

“It’s like Trump’s presidency has ruined the name forever,” said Martha Fields, IRBN founder. “I guess people think President Trump is just a terrible person, and they don’t want their precious babies to grow up with any connotation to the worst president we’ve ever had. Would you want your little cherub son to make people think of Trump’s racism, sex crimes, concentration camp policies, Russian collusion, life of fraud, borderline genocidal apathy toward COVID, and his awful, awful hair? I wouldn’t! I’d hate it if every time my son tells people his name they immediately think of emoluments clause violations, excuses for Saudi Arabian murder, inaction on Russian bounties on US troops, refusal to read daily briefings and pay attention to US national security, and the betrayal of our allies ranging from NATO to the Kurds in the Middle East. In fact, there are actually a lot of Donalds around the world changing their names to something else, so we’re actually having to retroactively edit past lists of popular names. So many Donalds are changing their name to Barack, Franklin, Jack and Lyndon that my work at the International Registry is never ending! I guess they just want to be associated with better presidents who haven’t ruined everything people around the world like about America.”

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s