The Sky Above DC Is Currently Black From Jared Kushner, Bill Barr Furiously Burning Documents

Washington D.C.—

According to eyewitness reports, the sky above Washington D.C. is black with smoke.

The sources of the flames have been pinpointed to Attorney General Bill Barr’s office in the Department of Justice, as well as the window to Jared Kushner’s office in the White House.

White House sources have confirmed to The Halfway Post that Mr. Kushner was overheard on a frantic phone conversation with Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia warning him not to chop up any more journalists because the Trump Administration would soon no longer be able to provide political cover. Following that call, he told Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu to rush to demolish as many Palestinian settlements as possible over the next two months, told Turkey’s Erdogan that America’s continuing betrayal of the Kurds would most likely be stopped soon, and told Qatar he was going to need another bailout for his 666 Fifth Avenue property ASAP. He then smashed his government cell phone along with two dozen other burner phones.

Sources at the DOJ have reported that Mr. Barr spent the morning running through the hallways trying to collect all the Mueller Report documents, evidence, and internal memos to throw into a trash can fire he started in his office while screaming to his deputies to “cover their tracks.” For some reason he was shirtless.

From The Halfway Post vault:

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