Washington D.C.—
President Donald Trump has never quite gotten around to hosting his ellusive “Infrastructure Week,” but he announced on Twitter this morning that Infrastructure Week was officially canceled.
The following are his tweets:
“I was just about to announce the best Infrastructure Week this country has ever seen, but the cheating Democrats have ruined it for everyone! Why should I build any new roads or bridges for America if the election was rigged against me? Let’s see Sleepy Joe build a bridge!”
“The only thing Democrats know how to build is wind turbines because they love mountains of dead birds! AOC won’t stop her Green New Deal until every bald eagle gets its brains bashed in. And they’re going to abolish fracking, coal mining and dumping garbage in the river, none of which ever hurt anyone! Bad for business!”
“And bad for the economy! Climate change is a hoax to kill jobs and make my amazing black unemployment numbers go up because I’m making Obama look so bad! A lot of people don’t know this, but China paid Hunter Biden (COLLUSION!) to invent global warming. If the Earth is getting so hot, how come there’s still ice cream? I eat a bowl every day, and it’s always FROZEN!”
“So sorry, America! My Infrastructure Week was going to be so tremendous you wouldn’t believe it! No one knows more about infrastructure than me! You wouldn’t believe the infrastructure I inherited. The engineers told me that Obama only allowed DIRT roads, but that’s what you get for electing a Kenyan!”
“Not me though! I’m one of the best road builders of all time! But the Democrats stole the election from me, and the Republicans didn’t defend me, so no one is getting any infrastructure anymore. I hope all of America’s bridges fall down, and then you’ll all be begging for me to come back!”
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