Donald Trump Requests All Security Briefings To Be Typed In Comic Sans


President Donald Trump has reportedly requested that all of his national security briefings from here on out be typed in the typeface comic sans.

The directive has been widely panned on social media, but Mr. Trump has been combative about his decision.

“Comic Sans is the greatest typeface, maybe of all time. As usual, Democrats are just looking for distractions because Crooked Hillary lost. Sad!” Trump tweeted this morning at 4:07am.

The typeface is infamous in the graphic design community on account of it being overused and having a reputation for being childish and unprofessional.

“Comic sans is the font of choice for children’s birthday party invitations and grade school bulletin board cutouts,” said graphic designer Alan Howard in a post on “Type Faces,” his blog comparing and contrasting the plethora of typefaces available on word processors. “It literally pains me to think about our nation’s top intelligence officers being subjected to such a terrible font while compiling the country’s most serious and confidential security reports.”

Various reports since President Trump obtained the Republican presidential nomination and began receiving presidential briefings have alleged that Mr. Trump is not an avid reader, and that he often has trouble paying attention. Trump has also reportedly asked that the lengthy briefings be scaled down to one or two pages, and include as many pictures as possible.

White House staffers, meanwhile, have insisted that Trump’s attention to typeface proves he is taking the briefings seriously.

“Look, if printing the briefings in comic sans—which is a very fun font by the way—helps the President consume the information he needs to keep America safe, then I’m all for it,” said Press Secretary Sean Spicer in a press conference this morning. “I don’t understand why anyone would be against Trump reading the briefings in the font that he prefers.”

Jokes about the president and comic sans have gone viral on Twitter, and the typeface has become another culture battle in our polarized political environment. Conservative media personalities have defended the president, particularly on Fox News, from what they consider overblown mockery.

Fox’s Sean Hannity has been especially vocal in the president’s defense, going so far as to revamp the style and design of his show so that his logo, onscreen ticker, and all show graphics are displayed in comic sans.

“The liberal media elites will insist on publishing in fancy fonts like Times New Roman, Helvetica, or even loser French fonts like Le Monde,” explained Mr. Hannity, “But only President Trump has the balls to read military reports on droned ISIS leaders with the informality of a font designed for children!”

(Photo courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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