New York, NY—
According to exclusive ABC sources, The Halfway Post has learned that the George Stephanopoulos interview with former FBI Director James Comey that aired Sunday night was heavily edited.
Parts of the interview that did not make it into the final television cut included dozens of foul-mouthed insults Comey had invented for President Donald Trump over the last several months since he was fired.
Included in these censored insults were an amusing 54 times that Mr. Comey referred to the President as “a little bitch.”
“That little bitch didn’t even have the balls to fire me man to man,” exclaimed Comey, in a scene cut from the master edit “I had to find out I was fired from a television screen, and the Trump communications people at first said I had resigned. Donald Trump is a gutless little man. He had John Kelly fire everyone else, and he even told his wives he was divorcing them via newspaper headlines. He’s been a pants-wetting little bitch his entire life.”
The following are other colorful insults Comey used in the interview, which didn’t get included in the final edit:
“I envy the millions of Americans who have never personally met Donald Trump or shook his tiny vulgar hands.”
“Donald Trump beat out George Washington to be the president with the fakest teeth.”
“Donald Trump is the comic sans of presidents.”
“Trump has more dick in his wildly undeserved ego than he has in his pants at full-mast.”
“Donald Trump is so f***ing dense that light itself literally gets sucked into him like a black hole of stupid.”
“Donald Trump has gone swimming with t-shirts on for 35 years.”
“Donald Trump is the Nickelback of presidents.”