New York, NY—
According to exclusive ABC sources, The Halfway Post has learned that the George Stephanopoulos interview with former FBI Director James Comey that aired a year ago was heavily edited.
Parts of the interview that did not make it into the final television cut included dozens of foul-mouthed insults Comey had invented for President Donald Trump over the last several months since he was fired.
Included in these censored insults were an amusing 54 times that Mr. Comey referred to the President as “a little B.”
“That little B didn’t even have the balls to fire me man to man,” exclaimed Comey, in a scene cut from the master edit “I had to find out I was fired from a television screen, and the Trump communications people at first said I had resigned. Donald Trump is a gutless little man. He always has his chiefs of staff fire everyone. You know how many people John Kelly fired? He even told his wives he was divorcing them via newspaper headlines. He’s been a pants-wetting little B his entire life.”
The following are other colorful insults Comey used in the interview, which didn’t get included in the final edit:
“I envy the millions of Americans who have never personally met Donald Trump or shook his tiny vulgarian hands.”
“Donald Trump beat out George Washington to be the president with the fakest teeth.”
“Donald Trump is the comic sans of presidents.”
“I do believe Donald Trump is blackmailing the entirety of the Republican leadership in Congress.
“Donald Trump is so f***ing dense that light itself literally gets sucked into him like a black hole of stupid.”
“Donald Trump has gone swimming with t-shirts on for 35 years.”
“When Donald Trump leaned in close and asked if I would give him my personal loyalty, I could 100% see why people mistake him for a fatass orangutan.”
“Donald Trump is the Nickelback of presidents.”