Due To Climate Inaction, NOAA To Name Every Hurricane This Year After Donald Trump’s Family

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Silver Spring, MD—

In a press release by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), the agency announced that NOAA would honor the destruction that President Donald Trump is doing to the world—particularly via his apathy toward the obvious reality of climate change—by naming every tropical storm this hurricane season after Mr. Trump and his nepotistic children.

The succession of hurricane names will be as follows:

Donald

Jared

Ivanka

Donald Jr.

Eric

Upon reaching the end of the list, the names will then repeat from the top with Roman numerals added at the end to distinguish in which round of the name cycle the current hurricane is.

The naming decision, while obviously politicized, came after Mr. Trump’s refusal to join, literally, the rest of the world in the Paris Climate Accord. Besides the United States, the only nations not to sign the accord are Nicaragua and Syria.

Nicaragua refused to sign the accord because Nicaraguan delegates thought that the accord’s voluntary pledges to reduce greenhouse gases did not go far enough toward responsible climate action, and explained that they would not sign a climate accord that did not institute punishments for failure to comply with carbon reduction. Syria did not participate in the accord’s crafting for obvious, civil war-related reasons.

NOAA explained in the press release that the hurricane-naming decision is an effort to convince President Trump to take climate change seriously.

We at the Halfway Post hope it helps to convince Mr. Trump!

(Photo courtesy of NOAA Photo Library.)

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