Neo-Nazi Richard Spencer Plans Rally Protesting The Inability To Play As Nazis In Call Of Duty Video Games

Kansas City, MO—

Neo-Nazi LARPer Richard Spencer is once again planning a white supremacy protest rally, but the reason for this one is different than the other eugenics-themed rallies in which he has participated.

For this rally, tentatively scheduled to take place in Kansas City, MO, Spencer is orchestrating a more personal protest.

“It’s total bullcrap that in all the Call of Duty video games you can’t play as the Nazis,” Spencer said in a Facebook post to garner interest in the protest. “I don’t hate America, I just want to be able to play the Nazis in World War II video games. Of course, that means I’ll be shooting a bunch of Americans in the game, but it’s unfair to Nazi Germany’s memory that so many games are accurate to history by culminating in an Allied victory over Hitler. I honestly believe Nazis are the most misunderstood group of people in the history of humanity. And nowadays Nazis certainly face more discrimination than any other demographic of people. You can’t even say that Jews should be exterminated anymore before your Nazi First Amendment rights are immediately taken away by everyone who hates you for expressing yourself. A lot of people mistake me for a Nazi, and the confusion has allowed me to see first-hand the discrimination that Nazis face every day. I thought this was 2017, but the long arc of moral justice has obviously not blessed the maligned legacy of the Third Reich. They tell every kid in grade school that you can be anything you want to be when you grow up, but apparently not a Nazi! And, again, I’m totally not a Nazi. I just think Nazis had great branding with skulls on their SS uniforms, and should have conquered Britain, and then launched an epic sea invasion of the United States so that America today would be the crown jewel of a global Nazi Empire policed harshly by an American branch of the Gestapo! That way the Hitler Youth could have lasted long enough for me to join, and I’d stand out as a stellar recruit so that I could eventually become an aged Hitler’s private assistant. Can you imagine if I got the honor, no the privilege, to help give old Hitler his sponge baths? Does that make me a Nazi? Of course not! I’m just a history buff. So for real, come out with me next Saturday and protest Call of Duty. I only want a couple missions in each game where you play as Nazis roaming around New York City shooting Americans for not informing against their Jewish neighbors…and for there to be no minority characters… and for women to not be allowed to play. But I swear I’m totally not a Nazi! I’m a neo-Nazi at most!”

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