The Republican Tax Reform Bill Includes A Formal Resolution Apologizing To The Koch Brothers For Taxing Them


Washington D.C.—

Top Republican leaders in Congress unveiled their tax reform bill today, and it is raising eyebrows.

The first page includes a fiscally themed poem, entitled “Ode To The First Trillionaire, God Among Men,” and the second page is—literally—an advertisement for Remington rifles. The third page includes a “Letter from the Prez” with Trump’s signature at the bottom that alleges Jared Kushner was merely a coffee boy of the administration, and certainly not an adviser in any way.”

However, most controversially, the GOP tax bill includes a three-page apology written explicitly to the Koch Brothers eloquently begging for their forgiveness for the US Congress having ever taxed them. The apology is signed by every Republican in the House.

“Our generous Koch Brother patrons, it was wrong to take your money for the social good,” the letter reads. “But the Communist Democrats forced Congress to raise your top marginal tax rate from 35% to a terrifying, totally socialist 39%. We wholeheartedly beg your pardon, and will resist to the end any and all expectations for you to contribute to the society that incubates your great wealth.”

(Picture courtesy of DonkeyHotey.)

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