Mike Pence, Who Can See His Political Future Is Sinking With Trump, Spends His Days Writing Musicals


Washington D.C.—

The days are long and boring for Vice President Mike Pence, who President Donald Trump gives little responsibility because of his egotism, but Pence has reportedly found and developed a new talent while killing time during White House office hours.

Throughout the first year and a quarter of the Trump presidency, Mr. Pence has written several, full-length musicals packed with original songs and lyrics.

“Mike has really blossomed artistically, and, in the absence of political involvement, he has entered into a creative sweet spot,” explained VP aide Thomas Ralstone. “He’s cranking out a full-blown musical every two weeks. I’ve had several conversations with him in which he has told me he thinks he’s burning out on politics, but sees a bright future in the theatre.”

The Halfway Post obtained a photo of the list of some of Pence’s musicals from a snoopy White House janitor, and the following are titles of some of Mr. Pence’s scripted productions:

A Dancer In Another Life

The Secret Kept From God

The Husband’s Guilt

[A comedic monologue] When Did Women Get So Assertive?

Confused Soul: The Musical

So Close, Yet So, So Far: An Impeachment Story

[Working Title:] The Volleyball Scene From Top Gun Adapted For The Stage

No Girls Allowed

Short-Shorts Steve

If God Can Hear My Thoughts…I’m Screwed! A Comedy

That One Summer In 1975 With Brad Where It Happened

Wives: Who Needs Them? A Farce

Firefighter Poles

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(Picture courtesy of Michael Vadon.)

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