Local Trump Voters Feel Like American Democracy Has Gone On Too Long

Little Rock, AR—

The Halfway Post recently reached out to several Trump voters about their thoughts on American democracy.

“I think democracy has been fun while it lasted, but I’m just so dissatisfied that there is a consistent majority of people who disagree with me,” said Ray Yaeger, 27. “I was looking up some history the other day, and I was surprised to find out that Republicans lost the popular vote in 1992, 1996, 2000, 2008, 2012, and 2016. Thank God that the Supreme Court intervened in Florida in 2000, and the Electoral College gave the presidency to Trump in 2016, but I’m not liking this trend! Democracy just isn’t as fun when America votes against what I want. I’m a bit alarmed that Republicans have only won the popular vote one time in my entire life, in 2004. So I say Trump should just take dictatorial power, and serve as long as he wants as dictator. When he’s done, maybe Ivanka or Don Jr. can take over for their lifetimes. I don’t even know what kind of policies they would pass, or if they’d even govern like conservatives, but it would piss off the libtards so hard that I’m all for having a Trump family dynasty.”

Other Trump voters just thought participating in elections was too much work.

“I’ve had enough of this democracy liberal BS!” said Marilyn Jamlin, 54 “I hate having to leave my house to vote against the Demonrats. My voting precinct is four blocks down from my house, so I hate having to start up my piece of crap car to drive such a short distance because my spark plugs are really bad. It takes me forever to get it started! But it’s slightly too far to not take the car. I’m obese with the diabetes, and my motorized wheelchair can’t get up on the sidewalks cause this town doesn’t have any handicapped-accessible ramps. I complained to the city council about it, but those communists wanted to raise my sales taxes a quarter of a percent to pay for making the city more handicapped-accessible for people like me. Hell no! What am I, a socialist? I’ll never vote for a tax increase!”

Still other Trump fans just seemed to be confused about reality.

“I believe Donald Trump is the second coming of Jesus Christ,” said Ralph Poore, 62. “No one is more Godly than Trump. He’s so thick-skinned, calm, measured, and his Twitter is filled to the brim with spiritual devotionals and motivational quotes to be a better, more humble person. I only wish my grandkids would come over more often so they could fix my Internet connection. I haven’t been online in a couple years, and I’ve got to be missing so many of Trump’s politely articulated Twitter prayers asking America to turn down the rhetoric and treat everyone with dignity and respect, regardless of color, creed, political affiliation, or religious faith. Trump is just such a mentor for America, who leads by example for our children to grow up and be welcoming, civil, and self-confident, just like him! I’m sure his Twitter history is filled with hundreds of compliments for other people, and that he always courteously engages with fellow Twitter users, especially his critics, whose differences in opinions he respects with humility. I really should get back online and start reading all his tweets I’m missing. Billy or Tommy, if you’re reading this interview, come on over and help Pawpaw plug back in his Internet tubes!”

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