While the coronavirus pandemic threatens governmental stability across the world, nationalists in far-Right political parties are using the uncertainty to extract more power.
Goebbels the Gerbil, Chancellor of Rodentia, has taken advantage of stay-at-home orders to use recess appointments to effectively fill the Rodent judiciary with loyalist gerbils.
The rats, mice and hamsters of Rodentia immediately called foul, and criticized the recess appointments as an unConstitutional measure to get around the Rodent Republic’s mandate of legislative review of state justices.
Over the last decade, Goebbels the Gerbil has slowly accumulated more power for himself and his Gerbil Nationalist Socialist Party, which has generated much controversy due to Goebbels the Gerbil’s unashamed Gerbil-First policies.
However, political disagreements between the Leftist Mice Green Party, Rat Social Democrats, and the Hamster Communist Party have heretofore been unable to to find common ground in order to push back against the Gerbils’ creeping pluralistic fascism.
Addressing the bureaucratic maneuvering, Goebbels the Gerbil told his supporters in a rally this afternoon that Rodentia needed a more authoritarian government to keep the Rodents safe.
“I alone can fix this!” yelled Goebbels the Gerbil. “For blood and soil, the Gerbil people will once against make Rodentia great again!”
Meanwhile, hate crimes throughout Rodentia have been on the rice, specifically targeting mice. Goebbels the Gerbil has previously claimed during political rallies that the mice are not real rodents.
Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Twitter here, Facebook here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here and subscribe to our Substack newsletter The Halfway Café here.
More from The Halfway Post vault: