Trump: “I Know 10x More About Immunology Than Dr. Grouchy!”

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump again insulted Dr. Anthony Fauci in the following tweets:

“Dr. Fauci is just one guy, and his opinions on how to deal with COVID aren’t that smart. If he can’t throw a baseball, why should we listen to what he thinks about the pandemic? He’s not a team player, and complains too much! If you ask me, his name should have been Tony GROUCHY!”

“A lot of people don’t know this, but immunology is very complex. But I get it. The doctors all told me they couldn’t believe how well I understand it. They said it took them years to learn, but it only took me ten minutes… and Obama NEVER learned it! My uncle went to MIT, and I inherited his genius genes!”

“The doctors told me Obama’s Ebola was way easier than COVID! They said I could have handled 15 Ebolas all at once, but COVID is much, much more complicated. They said Obama never would have been able to handle even COVID 4 or 5, but that I was a real natural at diseases for handling COVID 19! They said I was even better at diseases than I was at the military, and the generals all said I was better than Julius Caesar and Napoleon!”

“So why is Dr. Fauci so grouchy all the time? We’re doing great! He’s just mad I won’t let him go on TV anymore. He’s a total camera-hogger! But he’ll never be a star, he’s way too short! I told him to get a box to stand on during his press conferences but he said it wasn’t necessary! No stage presence!”

“Dr. Grouchy would have been terrible as the host of The Apprentice! What would be his catchphrase? ‘You’re quarantined!’? No one wants to watch that!”

From The Halfway Post vault:

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