Washington D.C.—
President Donald Trump took to Twitter today to announce his new healthcare plan in the following tweets:
“My healthcare plan is going to be so amazing it will blow your mind! TrumpCare will cover DOUBLE the number of people Obamacare covered, it will cost HALF as much, and everyone will be 100x happier! It will be so tremendous you literally won’t believe it!”
“This healthcare plan is the greatest plan in US history! I can’t wait to show you it! We’re still crossing some T’s, and dotting some I’s, but we will have it totally ready to unveil on November 4th, and not a day later! So stay tuned, but know that you’re going to be so happy when you see it! You won’t believe how easy I make healthcare seem!”
“I know I keep saying I’ll unveil my Obamacare replacement ‘in two weeks,’ but a healthcare plan this amazing can’t be rushed! I promise that the day after the election my plan will be instituted, and everyone will hope and pray they get cancer just so that they can see my big, beautiful Obamacare replacement in action!”
“Trust me, TrumpCare is going to be the best law ever passed in US history! Obama called me last night asking about it and I told him what my plan was all about, and he said he wished he had thought of all of my ideas. He said my plan was so much better than Obamacare that he wanted to buy a plan right now! I told him, ‘no thanks, Americans only!’ No Kenyans allowed!“
“So vote for me on November 3rd. If I don’t win you’ll never get to see my amazing new TrumpCare, and, trust me, you want to see it. It will be so amazing even European communist countries like Germany and Sweden will be begging to have TrumpCare! Angela Merkel called me last night and told me she’d do anything for TrumpCare….ANYTHING. I said ‘no thanks, only chancellors who are 10s can get TrumpCare! MAGA!!!”
From The Halfway Post vault:
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