Marjorie Taylor Greene Has Lots Of Conditions For Her Debate With AOC

(Image courtesy of NRKBeta.)

Washington D.C.—

Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has agreed to debate Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez about the Green New Deal, but has demanded the following requirements:

  • AOC must speak in plain, Anglo-Saxon-derived, standard American English. No Spanish, Spanglish, Mexican, or any other “brown language.”
  • She cannot bring the preserved body of Vladimir Lenin from his mausoleum in Russia to attend the debate.
  • No Jewish space lasers can come within 300 miles of the airspace above the debate location.
  • AOC can make no references to any books above an 8th grade reading level.
  • AOC must swear on a Bible ahead of the debate, and if any pictures of Jesus are included in the book, they must all depict Jesus as white.
  • AOC is not allowed to bring a Bible that’s secretly hollowed out with a copy of The Communist Manifesto inside.
  • There will be no drug-dealing allowed in the debate room from any of the family, friends or other guests AOC brings.
  • No Jews allowed (MTG is aware they have the technology for lasers small enough to fit into their watches or cell phones).
  • If Bigfoot shows up to the debate, MTG gets first dibs on dating him.
  • If aliens show up, AOC must tell them repeatedly that MTG is not present, moved to Australia, and paid them ALL the money she owed them.
  • No tamales, burritos, tacos, or enchiladas can be served by street vendors outside. Only the following “American First-style” foods: hotdogs, fried butter sticks, and deep-fried Twinkies.

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