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- A petition calling for federal courts to fine Todd Blanche $5,000 for every day he continues to flagrantly ignore court orders and explicit Congressional laws demanding he release the Epstein Files just reached 30 million signatures.
- Donald Trump is reportedly worried that JD Vance, the military, Congress, and the American people will all refuse to go to war in Iran if they blow up his Qatari jet to get revenge for all the Iranian leaders and civilians he has murdered, and the US will move on immediately.
- Todd Blanche is reportedly complaining that during a break in his confirmation hearing a senator sexually assaulted him in the bathroom and no one is doing anything about it.
- GERONTOCRACY REMINDER: Chuck Grassley, who is third in line for the presidency, was born in Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s FIRST presidential term.
- Todd Blanche claims he banged his head this morning and has lost all memories regarding his work with the Epstein Files, which he says is a “great tragedy” because he was “really looking forward” to testifying under oath about why nearly no one was held accountable.
- Trump reportedly wanted Lindsey Graham’s sister to take the Senate seat so he could get a little more use out of the fat, overflowing blackmail folder with her wanting to protect her brother’s legacy.
- Several officials at the New York Bar Association are reportedly demanding the association revoke Todd Blanche’s law license unless he finally releases all the Epstein Files he was legally required to release months ago.
- Trump is reportedly furious the Reflecting Pool contractors drained it during the day so everyone can see the tire tracks from when his motorcade drove over it before the sealant was totally cured, and now everyone knows he’s been lying for weeks about vandals.
- Todd Blanche is reportedly pissed senators keep asking him about the Epstein Files while he’s under oath during his confirmation hearings.
- A federal judge says it makes zero sense to prosecute anyone for taking pieces of the Reflecting Pool’s peeled off paint until Trump is prosecuted for driving 10 SUVs down the entire length of the pool before the sealant was fully cured.
- A MAGA fan who spends hours a day posting complimentary comments on risque pictures of obviously AI-generated women says it’s “fake news” that the damage to the Reflecting Pool was caused by Trump’s motorcade.
- Todd Blanche is reportedly worried that covering up the most notorious pedophile sex-trafficking ring in US history, lying about the evidence, and facilitating Trump’s theft of billions of tax dollars will be hard to explain in his upcoming state bar ethics review.
- Lindsey Graham is being honored as one of the rare senators who no woman ever accused of sexual harassment or assault.
- A petition calling for Congress to cancel Mitch McConnell’s healthcare coverage in honor of the 9/11 First Responders has reportedly just passed 50 million signatures.
- A group of 6 MAGA fans in Louisiana have just launched a hunger strike they vow will go on until E. Jean Carroll gives back the $5.6 million Trump was forced to give her, or they starve to death.
- Testosterone treatments are being offered to any Trump appointee who refuses to say that Joe Biden won the 2020 election in their confirmation hearings.
- Trump claims the Reflecting Pool vandals drove a convoy of vehicles underwater and left tire tracks across it after they cut the 300 yard gash in the bottom.
- Todd Blanche is reportedly worried that if he loses his law license Trump will throw him under the bus immediately.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published three books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, Satire In The Biden Years, and Trump Comedy.
I’ve also published four existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 