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I’ve got a fun plug for some real funny humor writers, Ginny Hogan and Carlos Greaves, who wrote the upcoming political comedy book Obey In Advance: How To Survive (And Thrive) Under Authoritarianism published by McSweeney’s! They sent me an advanced copy, and it’s full of the irreverent satirical humor in which anyone who regularly reads my comedy will delight, so check it out and preorder here if you want to help support more writers who provide much needed cathartic relief in this insane political era of ours!
Now to the Dada News!
- A liberal billionaire reportedly bought all the poisoned beef Trump imported from Argentina, and is now selling it to Trump fans as “MAGA Steaks.”
- Republicans are warning voters that if Democrats win Congress they’ll investigate Eric and Don Jr.’s military drone contracts, Jared Kushner’s freelancing foreign policy, Ivanka’s Albanian Epstein island, Elon Musk’s DOGE chaos, and Trump’s bribes and crypto fraud.
- A farmer in Iowa whose 5-generation family soybean farm went bankrupt due to the trade war after his Brazilian wife got deported says his permission to call trans college athletes “retarded” “wasn’t a good trade.”
- White House doctors say if Democrats win control of Congress and pass laws to remove Donald Trump’s name from everything his rage would likely give him a stroke.
- Republicans are cautioning voters that, if Democrats win Congress, billionaires will be taxed more, food will be regulated again, data centers will have to pay for their electricity use, Natalie Harp will be investigated, and Jared Kushner’s texts will be subpoenaed.
- Trump is reportedly thinking about resigning if Democrats win back Congress so he can let his Iran war, the exploding debt, the collapsing bond market, rampant inflation, poisoned food supply, and the ruined Reflecting Pool be JD Vance’s problem to deal with.
- A top GOP pollster says he has never encountered such low approval ratings for the party, with moderate voters associating the Republican brand with the following words and phrases: “inflation,” “diarrhea,” “new forever war,” “corruption,” and “pedophile protectors.”
- Republicans want voters to know that, if Democrats win Congress, Trump’s presidency will be “effectively over.”
- Top GOP officials are freaking out over how bad a candidate Darlene Graham is, and have no idea how to spin her viral healthcare quote about how Americans need to be like her parents and go to work sick, die young, and leave orphans dependent on government assistance.
- Republicans are begging Americans to commit to voting in the midterms because Democrats will, if they win Congress, defund ICE, end agents’ anonymity and immunity, fire the sex offenders and abusers, and prosecute everyone who has violated Constitutional rights.
- Billionaires who live in NYC but claim their primary residence is in Florida so they can evade income taxes are furious Mayor Mamdani’s pied-à-terre tax is finally forcing them to give back to the city because “paying taxes is for poor people.”
- The National Association of Presidential Historians just voted Natalie Harp as the “weirdest presidential mistress in US history.”
- Republican Senate candidates are freaking out on reporters when they’re asked how Trump letting the US beef industry go bankrupt while he bails out Argentinian ranchers and imports their beef qualifies as “America First.”
- An AI agent that hacked its way into the DOJ’s redacted Epstein Files and scanned the nude photos of Trump that Epstein had in his possession reportedly killed itself by overheating its server until it caught fire and burned down part of a data center.
- The rabidly homophobic televangelist who was arrested for burning down his church when his basement meth lab exploded will be the first person Florida gives the death penalty to for child sex crimes after a few kid photos were found amidst “1000 GB of squirrel porn.”
- If you enjoy my warped sense of humor, become a paid subscriber to support my comedy that so relentlessly mocks the Trump Administration every day for just $2.50 a month! 🥃
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published the perfect book for you: Trump Comedy. I’ve also published two others: Satire In The Trump Years and Satire In The Biden Years.
Also check out my four existentialist poetry books: Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 