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- Executives from Flock are reportedly pissed that a copycat company called Stalk is now putting up cameras right in front of their homes’ driveways.
- Natalie Harp has reportedly put AI-created posters in all the White House windows that show a completed ballroom, a sparkling blue Reflecting Pool, a massive arch, and a statue of Donald Trump taller than the Washington Monument, and Trump now thinks they’re all real.
- A top data center lobbyist says we should look on the bright side every time global warming makes a glacier collapse and cause flooding that kills hundreds of people because it means now there’s more fresh water available for cooling the data centers down so we can beat China to an AI that will make all humans obsolete.
- After Donald Trump listened to a briefing from several climate scientists about how much damage El Niño is expected to cause this year, he reportedly told the scientists, “No one ever knew the climate could cause such extreme weather! No one can believe it! No one’s ever seen anything like it!”
- The state of Iowa is currently in the lead in the tri-state competition of bankrupt cattle ranchers from Nebraska and Kansas who were ruined by Trump’s tariffs to build the largest “Trump Mountain” made entirely of manure, surpassing a 15-foot peak.
- Trump’s scheme to have the Postal Service derail the midterm elections is reportedly stalling because thousands of USPS employees are refusing to follow Trump’s new policies that betray USPS values, break the law, violate the Constitution, and risk prison.
- The Department of the Interior is reportedly considering offering federal land and tax breaks for anyone who will use part of that land to build a statue of Donald Trump taller than 15 feet.
- White House insiders say Donald Trump and Natalie Harp have a “weird, father-daughter, Gollumy/Wormtongue kind of relationship.”
- A brand new startup company called “Stalk” is installing Flock-style cameras outside all of Trump’s properties to record every person revolving around his corrupt administration and businesses.
- Natalie Harp reportedly makes calls to Trump from another room in the White House and does voices pretending to be Putin, Netanyahu, and all the other world leaders as she compliments him profusely and tells him he’s being awarded their countries’ highest honors.
- With Bibi Netanyahu and Vladimir Putin both pissed at Donald Trump’s senseless foreign policy, Argentina is the only country left allowing him to flee to, but Trump is worried it’s “too Mexican.”
- USPS employees are reportedly revolting against the Trump-appointed administrators who are trying to interfere with mail-in ballots and rig the midterm elections, and the employees are chanting, “Rain, sleet, snow, or hail, we won’t let democracy fail!”
- Milo Yiannopoulos was just inducted into the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party following his cruel arrest by ICE.
- Trump is reportedly thinking about rewriting his will to leave out all his kids and Melania, and instead give everything to Natalie.
I’ll plug again some real funny humor writers, Ginny Hogan and Carlos Greaves, who wrote the upcoming political comedy book Obey In Advance: How To Survive (And Thrive) Under Authoritarianism published by McSweeney’s! It’s full of the irreverent satirical humor that anyone who regularly reads my comedy will delight in, so check it out and preorder here if you want some more cathartic relief in this insane political era of ours.
If you enjoy my warped sense of humor, become a paid subscriber to support my comedy mocking the Trump Administration for just $2.50 a month! 🥃
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Our social media platforms are getting scrambled by oligarchs so if you like my writing, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Threads, Twitter, Bluesky, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.
If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published the perfect books for you: Trump Comedy, Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years.
Also check out my four existentialist poetry books: Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 