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- Trump is reportedly asking his staffers if they think everyone can tell he had a stroke.
- Todd Blanche is reportedly asking several European nations if he can “take a look at and borrow” all the original documents their separate Epstein Files investigations are obtaining.
- Inflation is rising so fast because of Trump’s tariffs and policies that economists are predicting that, by the time Trump’s alleged $5,000 checks get mailed out, all it will get Americans is one fill up of gas and one pound of beef.
- Texas Republicans are reportedly worried that so many of Ken Paxton’s own staffers and former friends have endorsed James Talarico that Paxton might lose by way too much for them to cheat.
- White House whistleblowers say Trump spends hours in the White House with Natalie Harp giggling like school children in a vibe they describe as “Hitler in the bunker meets Jim Jones.”
- A lone GOP official is reportedly asking, “Am I crazy, or is the Trump Administration totally floundering and failing on Iran, the Ukraine War, inflation, the DC renovations, food safety, military preparedness, the debt, and everything else?”
- The Tate brothers are reportedly very upset that their fellow prison inmates are giving them the “pedophile treatment.”
- Trump has been so toxic on the international stage that European countries are reportedly racing each other to obtain evidence of Trump’s complicity in all the Epstein crimes.
- Senate Republicans are increasingly pissed that Trump spends eight hours a day sequestered alone with Natalie Harp making AI videos of himself as a superhero while Iran and the Houthis wreck the global economy causing epic inflation with the midterms just two months away.
- Trump is reportedly worried he has pissed off so many other countries that most of the world’s nations are cooperating on their Epstein Files investigations to bring down his presidency.
- Half of Trump’s face was drooping so low during the 9/11 memorial events that several local Boy Scouts reportedly called 911 to report a stroke like they had just learned about while earning their first aid merit badge.
- Trump says if voters let the GOP keep control of both chambers of Congress he will end the Iran nuclear program, the Ukraine War, inflation, and bring down gas prices “for real this time.”
- Dozens of countries are reportedly in talks to arrest all the Epstein villains outside the US to force them to rat out Trump and end his presidency before he can ruin the rules based order and global economy any further.
- Mitch McConnell’s staff think his brief appearances in the videos taken of him getting rides to and from Congress are going “really well.”
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published the perfect books for you: Trump Comedy, Satire In The Trump Years, and Satire In The Biden Years.
Also check out my four existentialist poetry books: Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 