The Russiagate scandals are heating up and threatening to engulf President Donald Trump’s presidency, as well as his family, and Trump is looking guiltier and guiltier by the day. However, Mr. Trump is reportedly finding solace in the fact that his inevitably short presidency will still have beaten President William Harrison’s tenure in the White House.
President Harrison was elected in 1840, but died from illness after only one month in office. President Trump, in contrast, has so far been in office for a much, much longer seven months.
“My father is a positive guy,” Mr. Trump’s son, Eric Trump, said in a television interview on Fox News. “Some people may look at the crumbling Trump presidency as a failure, but my father thinks of this as a success. Only ineffective presidents last less than two months in office, and my father is no William Harrison. He’s like seven William Harrisons put together.”
Through a spiritual clairvoyant, The Halfway Post reached out to the ghost of President William Harrison for a comment.
“Donald Trump will never be half the man I was!” said Ghost Harrison. “And what is up with his travel ban? He thinks Mexicans and Muslims shouldn’t be allowed in the country? What is he thinking? It’s the Irish that need to be banned! They’re the apes!”
When our Halfway Post reporter explained to Mr. Harrison that it is no longer socially acceptable to malign the Irish as lazy and backward, Mr. Harrison was indignant.
“I’m glad I died 176 years ago,” Harrison’s ghost said. “I never want to live in a world where the Irish are allowed to take American jobs, defile American women, and practice Catholicism freely.”
It seems that Mr. Trump’s anti-Mexican and anti-Muslim rhetoric falls under the category of “same shit, different day.”
Thanks for the comments, Mr. Harrison. Rest in peace.
The Halfway Post 