Colorado Ships 100 Pounds of Marijuana To White House, Begs President Trump To Chill Out


Denver, CO—

Denver’s city council has taken an unusual step to show the Trump Administration that the city disagrees with administration policies by mailing 100 pounds of medicinal-strength marijuana to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with a note attached imploring Mr. Trump to “Please get high a.f. and chill out, dude.”

The marijuana was collected from pot dispensaries throughout the city as part of an initiative to send the President a message to calm down. The original goal was to raise one pound of marijuana, but the initiative went viral and virtually every dispensary in the state contributed some green.

Denver Mayor Tom Jacobs gave the initiative his full support, and added a personal note of his own to Trump written on the side of the shipping package:

“Donnie, inside are enough pre-rolled joints for you take one each day for the remainder of your presidency. Any time you’re thinking of nuking a country, tweeting out attacks implying violence against journalists, or you get upset that Obama will always be more popular than you, smoke one. Thanks—Tom.”

President Trump has famously not ever done any drugs, and doesn’t even drink alcohol. It’s probably why he’s such a shitty person, because he doesn’t ever mellow out at the end of a long, stressful day. He would undeniably be less of a self-destructively competitive and bitter person if he had.

The initiative was created as an invitation for the Trump Administration to begin showing more maturity, professionalism, and moderation in temperament.

Mr. Trump since his inauguration has assaulted America with unceasing scandal and embarrassment, and there is no apparent end in sight to the melodrama. Every single week of Trump’s presidency seems to be competing with the others to win the designation as “Trump’s Worst Week.”

This last week saw Trump fail to push back against rising neo-Nazi extremism, his executive adviser Steve Bannon was forced out of the White House, and, as usual, he tweeted crazy things while on vacation to distract from a legislatively fruitless first six months in office.

The cause of this political mayhem is of course President Trump’s terrible personality, and the President is making his own life much harder by alienating all of his governmental allies and partners.

Colorado urges Mr. Trump to light up, and to share it with his administration, particularly the following:

Mike Pence

Rex Tillerson

Jeff Sessions

Stephen Miler

Steven Mnuchin

Betsy DeVos

Scott Pruitt

& Tom Price.

(Photo courtesy of SWARE.)

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