Afghanistan Super Relieved, Was Worried Trump Might End War & Its Record-Breaking Year Streak


Kabul, Afghanistan—

The country of Afghanistan has told neighbor countries that it is “super relieved” that US President Donald Trump recently unveiled plans for a surge in America’s troop presence.

President Obama had instituted a surge previously, but spent his second term trying to wind down the record-breaking war. President Trump is making good on his campaign promise to do the exact opposite of anything Obama ever did or wanted to do.

Afghanistan reportedly told neighbors Pakistan and Turkmenistan that it was happy that its already record-breaking continuity of war would be getting longer.

“Afghanistan is really happy that it is America’s number one longest war, and it’s all Afghanistan ever talks about,” said Turkmenistan. “That record is going to be getting even more difficult to break, which means Afghanistan is going to be even more smug about it. Great.”

It remains to be seen how long the war will continue under the direction of President Trump, and his speech regarding the troop surge earlier this week was very skim in terms of details. Mr. Trump claimed that he was giving the war in Afghanistan concrete goals and an exit strategy, but his speech was devoid of either.

Given Mr. Trump’s lack of interest in governance, along with his disinterest in taking responsibility for anything, it is no surprise that he said he would be giving more decision-making responsibility to the military. So if the surge doesn’t go well, you can be sure Mr. Trump will blame the military to preserve his fragile, babyish ego.

Congratulations, Afghanistan.

(Picture courtesy of DVIDSHUB.)

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