Alt-Right Nazis Insist Feminists Are “The Real Nazis” Because They Can’t Get Laid


St. Louis, MO—

In a stunning case of bad introspection, self-described Alt-Righters, who share Third Reich-related Nazi memes on the internet every night between masturbation trips to the bathroom, are blaming “feminists,” “feminazis,” and “independent women” for the reason they can’t get laid.

“It sucks,” said Jacob Dearden, a prolific meme fanboy of the bastardized, nazified Pepe the Frog cartoon character. “Ever since women moved into the work force during WWII to help the war effort and fill traditionally male-dominated jobs in factories, they’ve developed a taste of self-empowerment which has taken our society on a downhill slide. FDR ruined this country forever by declaring war against Nazi Germany. You know, in Nazi Germany, women during WWII knew their role was to have a lot of Nazi babies. Some thousands of women volunteered to have sex with SS officers to serve their country by having a bunch of pure Aryan babies. My biggest regret in life was that I was born way too late to be a stellar recruit in the Hitler Youth and that I could never be in the SS. Here in modern America, no women are volunteering to have sex with me, and it’s bullshit. Feminism has ruined America.”

Other Alt-Righters complained that women were increasingly getting involved in their interests, and ruining them.

“The idea that women should have equal access to men’s hobbies is outrageous,” insists Alt-Righter Thomas Mann, who writes bitchy articles on Alt-Right websites primarily about “cuckservatives” and racist, ignorant caricatures of former-First Lady Michelle Obama. “Women should not be allowed to play video games, write articles on the Internet, have full-time jobs, study any of the STEM subjects in college, drive sports cars, be doctors, involve themselves in politics, or refuse sex with me. I’m 36 years old and still a virgin, and every time I try to talk to a woman she turns out to be some feminazi who won’t have sex with me on the first date, or agree to go on a second date, or return any of my messages no matter how threatening they get. Something’s wrong with women in 2019, and it’s fucking bullshit. This shit would never happen in Hitler’s Germany.”

One Alt-Righter, Jeremy Holmes, described his anger with women being generated by his female boss in a construction company.

“She’s such a bitch. She always says that I have an attitude and that I don’t work well with others, but maybe it’s because she’s a woman in an industry where she doesn’t belong. The company, and really the whole industry, used to be a men’s club, but bitches like her come along and ruin it. She shouldn’t be my boss if she can’t handle how much of an alpha I am. She keeps passing me over for promotions in favor of the other guys who try to respect her and listen to her advice and directions, but they’re just sensitive pussies who don’t understand masculinity. Total betas. They may have wives, and get regular sex, and do fun things at night and on the weekends together, and have dynamic social ties to a bunch of different people no matter their sexual orientation or ethnicity, but it’s because they’ve practically given away their balls. They think men should be nice, and empathetic, and conversational, but that’s why they’re weak. The fact that they’re happy with their lives is total proof how screwed up our society has become. In contrast, I never get any sex and don’t have any female friends at all, but it’s because women don’t respect or admire REAL men anymore. Feminism has ruined everything!”


(Picture courtesy of Tove Paqualin.)

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