House Republicans Vote On A Resolution To Officially Certify That Rod Rosenstein Is A “Meanie Pants”


Washington D.C.—

Congressional babies Mark Meadows and Jim Jordan spent all day today crafting a formal House resolution designating Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein as a “meanie pants.”

“Rod Rosenstein is a total jerk,” explained co-sponsor Jordan in a brief comment while entering his House office building. “He’s not giving us the information we want about Trump’s Russian collusion because he says we’re just trying to leak it to the public in a maliciously misleading manner, but that’s totally not true. We’re not going to leak it to the public. We’re going to give it to a Breitbart or Fox News reporter and let them leak it to the public and maliciously mislead people. Big difference. And Rod Rosenstein is totally c***-blocking us on our scheme. Trump is so obviously guilty that we’re running out of time here to misinform as many Trump supporters as we can, and this information Rosenstein is keeping from us would help us erroneously brainwash a whole lot more people with the Deep State conspiracy theories we’ve been peddling. I wish Rod Rosenstein would go to heck!”


(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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