Trump Says Mueller Shouldn’t Testify About Report That 100% Exonerates Him For Some Reason

Washington D.C.

President Donald Trump earlier today published a series of tweets in which he reiterated his belief that the Mueller Report totally proves his innocence, but then curiously explained that he is totally against the idea of Mr. Mueller testifying to Congress about his supposed exoneration.

The following are Mr. Trump’s tweets:

“The Mueller Report 100% exonerated me! No president has ever been more exonerated than I am! The 13 Dirty Democrats tried to throw a coup, but I won with truth, honesty, and transparency!…”

“…That is why Mueller should definitely never testify. I’m so innocent that there’s no point. In fact, Mueller’s lips should surgically be stitched shut so he can never tell anyone how innocent I am ever again! Maybe he should even be locked up!”

“You know me, I’m a humble guy, and I’m chronically addicted to television, so I’d hate to see all the soundbites of Mueller testifying up on cable news, and to hear him talking about what a great guy I am, and how I never colluded with Russia!”

“In fact, I’ll even offer Mueller $10 million to go on vacation anywhere in the world he wants, permanently! All he has to do is never come back to the US again! And never be a rat like that no good Cohen…”

“You hear that Bob? $10 million is yours because I think you’re such a great prosecutor. And nothing would serve justice better than if you just retired and never thought about that Russian collusion case ever again! What do you say, Bob?”

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

One thought

  1. 10 million hush money. That’s not going to save u from prison along with the other criminals you employed


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