A Handy Guide For How Billionaires Can Pinch Pennies When Their Taxes Go Up

St. Louis, MO

With Democratic plans to raise taxes on the mega rich picking up steam in the presidential race, many billionaires have spoken out about their feelings on the potential tax hikes.

We here at The Halfway Post felt sympathy for those billionaires, and have compiled a handy guide for the super rich on how to live more frugally if Democrats are elected and raise the top marginal tax rates:

  1. Establish a budget. If you make only $20,000 every hour, it can be easy to spend it all without even thinking. The most essential thing you can do is just record and start tracking all your expenditures to figure out where you can start saving!
  2. Start small, but think big. If you buy a new yacht every year, consider skipping this year. If you usually buy yachts with two helicopter pads, consider just one helicopter pad!
  3. Unsubscribe! Do you need Hulu AND Netflix? Do you really need cable TV as well? Try to cut out monthly subscriptions you find yourself not taking full advantage of.
  4. Be thrifty! Why buy name brand underwear? No one will see it but you, and cheap off-brand underwear can be your frugal little secret!
  5. Make Wednesdays your “No-Buy” day. Each week, make it a challenge to see if you can go one whole day without spending any money at all! This could be a fun challenge, and a great way to hold on to an extra hundred thousand dollars or two.
  6. Don’t go out to eat so much. Consider bringing your own brown bag lunch to the office. You might find you’re even more productive eating at your desk!
  7. Go generic with your prescription pills! They work just as well!
  8. Use less laundry detergent! A little detergent goes a long way, and detergent company recommendations are usually much higher than you need. You can bring your detergent expenses down by wearing slightly less clean clothes!
  9. Save your coupons! Newspapers, mailers, and endless websites are filled with unused savings opportunities. If a Democratic tax plan has you pinching your billions, become a coupon king or queen!

We hope this helps in your trying times, billionaires!

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

(Picture courtesy of Phuket@photographer.net)

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