According to DNC insiders, the Democratic Party’s next debate will feature a brand new format consisting of moderated commentary on just the following question:
“Is President Donald Trump a mentally deranged sociopath, or just so stupid that he cannot tell he’s terrible at everything?”
The Democratic candidates will get to prepare their speeches ahead of time, and can upload their essays into teleprompters for this event.
A randomly assigned order of speaking allotments will allow for each candidate to speak uninterrupted for fifteen minutes, with red warnings flashing when candidates are down to their last five minutes and one minute.
Following the conclusion of all the candidates’ arguments, the debate will then feature approximately a half hour of unmoderated discussion, unless the candidates are killing it with sick burns mocking President Numbnuts, in which case the rest of the debate will be uploaded unedited in its entirety as a YouTube live recording.