A White House janitor called The Halfway Post last night and left a voicemail complaining about President Donald Trump.
The following is an excerpt of the call:
“Hello, Halfway Post, I’d like to leak a story about Donald Trump. He just clogged the toilet at the White House so bad it took me two hours to unclog it. This is a pretty normal occurrence with the President, but this time he really got under my skin by telling me that, if Joe Biden got elected, the toilet would be clogged every day. What a ludicrous thing to say! Can you believe that? He clogs the toilet every day himself! It’s just like Trump saying all these riots are a taste of Joe Biden’s America! Give me a break! Trump has been president for four years, and he’s going to tell us that all this unrest and violence is Joe Biden’s future fault? Come on! He got elected back in 2016 running on a ‘law and order’ campaign, and everything has turned to s*** on his watch! Racism is getting worse, police brutality is getting worse, riots are getting worse, right-wing domestic terrorism is getting worse, government corruption is getting infinitely worse… literally everything is getting worse because of Donald Trump. Now he’s running on law and order AGAIN?! To stop all the criminality and chaos that he’s causing and inciting? It’s preposterous! Absurd! Idiotic! The only thing that will make the chaos worse is reelecting Trump, I guarantee it! And the same thing with Trump’s toilet cloggings! You know, for a guy who is so racist against Mexicans, he sure eats a lot of Taco Bell! I never see him making any speeches about banning all the bean burritos immigrating into his stomach! The only deporting he does is of quesadillas into all the White House toilets he stops up every day!”
From The Halfway Post vault:
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