According to White House insiders, President Donald Trump is second-guessing his decision to keep Mike Pence as his Vice President.
“The President asked several of us top advisers this morning if voters would mind if he replaced Mike Pence with Nikki Haley or Ivanka,” explained an executive adviser, who requested anonymity. “We told him that his voters likely wouldn’t have minded if he had done it several months ago, but that, since the election is literally tomorrow, it would look pretty bad and raise lots of questions. And that’s to say nothing about the fact that it’s way too late to change the ballots which all have Pence’s name printed on them. But I think Trump is nervous about the polls showing he’s down in most of the swing states. He thinks suburban women are only shifting to Biden because he has a female running mate, so he tried to convince Pence to transition into a woman to win some of the suburban women back. Pence didn’t like that one bit, and told the President that transgender identities go against the teachings of Jesus… at which point Trump asked ‘which one was he again?'”
From The Halfway Post vault:
Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!