Donald Trump Is Suing Every Biden Voter For $5 Billion Each For “Damages To His Brand”

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump just launched 71 million lawsuits, one for every American citizen who voted for Joe Biden, and addressed the lawsuits on Twitter:

“This is so unfair! All these Biden votes are rigged against me! I can’t get a fair chance with any of the Biden votes! The Democrats are cheating to make 100% of Biden votes go for Biden! What are the odds that not even ONE Biden vote is a Trump vote???”

“I’m going to have to sue all these Biden voters! PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT! $5 billion ought to teach them a lesson not to vote against your FAVORITE President Trump again, and for my third term they better vote for me instead of the next crazy socialist abortion-loving Democrat!”

“one-way ticket moscow january 20th noon”

“Oops! Don’t mind that last tweet. Just another typo like covfefe!”

From The Halfway Post vault:

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