Rudy Giuliani: “If It’s Not Too Late, I Found Another Hunter Biden Laptop!”

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

Washington D.C.—

Rudy Giuliani is back in the news claiming he found another Hunter Biden laptop.

“I hope it’s not too late,” said Mr. Giuliani in a press conference, “but maybe it will help the vote recount process, or at least the Georgia runoff elections. Either way, I found another laptop formerly belonging to Hunter Biden! This one is from the late 90s, and Hunter Biden dropped it off at a computer repair shop in Washington D.C. to the owner, a man by the name of Boris Yagaseltzov. This Yagaseltzov man remembered years later that the man who dropped it off was none other than Hunter Biden! Apparently Hunter Biden dropped off the laptop and announced to the shop owner that he needed the laptop fixed as soon as possible because he was going to China the next morning to develop business contacts in order to help his dad run for president in the 2020 Election. You see? Their scheme goes back literally decades! And the shop owner looked at the computer and saw unbelievable proof of corruption! But Hunter Biden never returned! This was 1998, and that fateful day was so memorable that the shop owner never forgot it! Unfortunately, Mr. Yagaseltzov passed away back in 2004 after a long fight against dementia, but he told his son, Robert Yagaseltzov, who thankfully told his wife the story before he got hit by a bus jaywalking in 2011. Then the wife told me last night in a LinkedIn message. It’s just a shame that the computer has been lost to time, but she swears the story is true. So, as you can see, this story is airtight. I am 100% sure that the laptop was Hunter Biden’s, and that it proves beyond a doubt that Joe Biden can’t be president. …Or it might have been a shoddy Russian intelligence operation. Fifty-fifty. But the woman’s LinkedIn account had a picture of a woman so it seemed legit. It didn’t have any other info on it, but maybe she’s not very tech-savvy, unlike me, who is President Trump’s cybersecurity adviser.”

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