Trump Just Pardoned A Thanksgiving Turkey Named “Donald Trump”

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump just participated in the annual presidential pardoning of a turkey, and pardoned one he claimed was coincidentally named “Donald Trump.”

While there is typically no actual paperwork involved with symbolically pardoning a turkey for some festive fun, this turkey was suspiciously pardoned via signature on a stack of what appeared to be several reams’ worth of paperwork on official White House letterhead.

The turkey was also apparently being represented by a team of twelve lawyers led by Rudy Giuliani.

A few hours later on Twitter President Trump floated the idea of pardoning up to twenty more turkeys named after his adult children, the Trump Organization, Rudy Giuliani, Michael Flynn, Bill Barr, and an until now unknown entity named “Pee Tape LLC.”

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