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- Ivanka Trump broke the first rule of billionaire pedophile sex-trafficking by publicly talking about the location of her island “resort.”
- Israeli developers are reportedly pissed Jared Kushner’s collapsing project to steal protected land in Albania is distracting him from helping them steal land in Gaza.
- The Trump economy’s biggest victims are the stores that only sell MAGA merch because his approval ratings are so low over the Epstein Files and Iran that no one wants to wear his name in public anymore.
- Howard Lutnick reportedly wants to know when Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner’s new pedophile island will be ready so can stop by for lunch with his kids and nanny.
- Trump’s two-hour nap at the Knicks game was the most expensive nap in US history.
- A lone GOP member of Congress is finally asking, “Am I crazy, or are Jared and Ivanka literally bragging publicly about how they’re creating a new and improved Epstein island by stealing protected Albanian land with pre-installed underground tunnels to hide the kids?”
- Several Republicans in Congress have reportedly told Donald Trump that Bill Pulte and Todd Blanche are unacceptable as DNI and AG, respectively, and they are willing to embarrass Trump by voting with Democrats until he picks appropriate people who aren’t assholes.
- After Trump said, “I love the inflation,” a journalist reportedly asked off-mic, “More or less than you love sex-trafficking children?”
- Mike Johnson just started his “3-day delay timer” that will alert the media on Saturday afternoon when he’ll finally have listened to Donald Trump’s “I love the inflation” comment from today’s press conference, and he’ll finally have a reaction to give reporters.
- Albanian protesters are reportedly planning to throw hundreds of venomous snakes, deadly spiders, and scorpions over the fencing into Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump’s resort construction site.
- Ken Paxton is reportedly relieved the media is spending all its time reporting on Graham Platner’s redemption from previous war-related alcoholism and bad behavior instead of his own current and ongoing awful behavior.
- Just a reminder that no one has seen Stephen Miller and the screwworm infestation in the same room.
- Susan Collins is reportedly upset no one is taking her being “concerned” about Graham Platner’s past behavior seriously after ten years of her also being “concerned” about Trump committing rampant fraud, treason, an insurrection, betraying our closest military allies, and wrecking the global economy.
- An influential MAGA pundit claims liberals are “fake feminists” for not supporting Ivanka Trump “breaking through the glass ceiling that keeps women from catching up to men in international sex-trafficking.”
- After Trump said on live television “I love the inflation,” a Fox News host reportedly said under her breath, “Jesus Christ, how are we supposed to spin this?”
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published three books for you: Satire In The Trump Years, Satire In The Biden Years, and Trump Comedy.
I’ve also published four existentialist poetry books, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 