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- A federal judge is reportedly very close to ruling that DOJ lawyers are in contempt of court for refusing direct orders to release a trove of Epstein Files that allegedly include “3 gigabytes of photos and videos of Donald Trump in various states of undress.”
- Trump’s impulsive and baseless declaration that the Strait of Hormuz is now American territory has backfired on his xenophobic goals because now hundreds of pregnant Arabs and other Muslims are traveling there to give birth to US citizen babies.
- DOJ whistleblowers say the illegally redacted photos and videos of Trump in the Epstein Files show a “much more humiliating, submissive, and sexually fluid side of him than most Americans would expect.”
- Todd Blanche will reportedly soon have to defend in court why he redacted several emails in the Epstein Files in which Epstein and several others discuss Donald Trump’s “deformed micro penis,” “saucer nipples,” and “prolapsed anal sphincter.”
- Trump has reportedly asked his lawyers what his options are if, “hypothetically,” it turns out he maybe wasn’t totally honest about not being in the Epstein Files.
- A new poll found that, if Trump is revealed to be in the Epstein Files, 82% of Americans support cutting off his penis with a tiny little guillotine.
- Andrew Tate’s cannibal neighbor unfortunately still hasn’t eaten him yet.
- Officials at the NYC Bar Association say it’s difficult to see how they can let Todd Blanche have a law license while he’s flagrantly refusing to comply with court orders and Congressional laws stating very clearly he must release the Epstein Files.
- The reason Trump is suddenly being so chummy with North Korea is reportedly because Vladimir Putin and Bibi Netanyahu have angrily revoked their offers to shelter Trump when he’s inevitably impeached and removed next year, and now Pyongyang is his last option.
- A major GOP pollster is warning that if Katie Phang’s lawsuit reveals Trump really is a sex-trafficking pedophile, Republican voter turnout will “utterly collapse” and Democrats could flip enough Senate races to win a 60-seat, filibuster-proof supermajority.
- A new poll found that 96% of Democratic voters want Democrats in Congress to prosecute and imprison Todd Blanche, Kash Patel, and the rest of Trump’s cabinet next year for their nonstop, blatant Hatch Act violations.
- Trump is reportedly furious after historians officially added the Iran War to the list of wars America has lost.
- Natalie Harp says every time she’s around Trump he never stops talking about how much he loves and respects Melania, and how Melania is the only woman in the world for him.
- DOJ officials say Katie Phang’s lawsuit against Todd Blanche is “regrettably close” to winning the release of dozens of photos Jeffrey Epstein took of the beds Donald Trump used for his sex crimes that reportedly document in “vivid detail” his fecal incontinence.
- Trump is reportedly upset no Republican members of Congress want him to campaign for them because his approval ratings are unprecedentedly low.
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If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published the perfect book for you: Trump Comedy. I’ve also published two others: Satire In The Trump Years and Satire In The Biden Years.
Also check out my four existentialist poetry books: Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, Hotel Golden Hours, and Nostradoofus.
The Halfway Post 