Donald Trump Brags That Obama Never Had An Eclipse


New York, NY—

Donald Trump earlier today gave a public statement in Trump Tower about the Charlottesville controversy, and quickly landed on the subject of the coming eclipse:

“You know, everyone’s talking about the eclipse and how it must be a sign from God that I’m making America great again. I heard from several scientists that it only happens once every million years or so, and everyone’s telling me about how Obama never had an eclipse. I don’t want to say, so I’m not gonna say it, but Obama never had an eclipse, did he? How great can he be if he never even had an eclipse. I’m getting an eclipse in my first year, he didn’t have any. But we’re doing great things, and I think the universe is watching. The fake news will tell you that this is a normal event that can be calculated by science, but of course they’re gonna say that. The fake news, the experts, the college professors, science, they’re all biased against me, against us, folks, because they don’t want America to be great again… I have a great vineyard on the moon, you know, very profitable—makes a lot of money—just amazing and very beautiful—spectacular really—and on the eclipse everyone will be able to see it if they have a telescope. It’s really small, but it’s up there. Don’t listen to the fake news tell you that I don’t have a vineyard on the moon. The white wine is spectacular.”

Can anyone say 25th Amendment??

(Picture courtesy of Nakae.)

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