White supremacist Richard Spencer’s nonprofit organization, “White Semen Doomsday” has reportedly reached a milestone in collecting its 3,000th mason jar of backup semen, intended to be stockpiled in a snowy Alaskan vault built underground and saved in case white people ever become, in the words of Mr. Spencer, “an endangered race.”
“We have to keep pure white breeds pure and white,” Spencer told The Halfway Post. “If America ever starts getting a little too brown, we can use deposits from my collection to get a little more pure white distilling in the gene pool. And if whites ever become enslaved by minority sub-aces, we can take refuge in Alaska, and, like the Jedi, nurse our people back to cultural dominance.”
Spencer says the milestone is bitter-sweet.
“It’s amazing how far we have come since my foundation, White Semen Doomsday, began in my basement. In the very beginning it was just me and a couple white supremacist friends jerking off into a jar together for the good of white humanity’s future. The collection grew very slow at first, as just me and my friends could not produce semen in substantial volumes, even when we were going at it sometimes four, five times a day, every day. I knew we had to outsource. So we started meeting up with a bunch of other white supremacists at random nature campouts and other events and we gradually warmed them up to the idea. We couldn’t make it seem homosexual of course, or these bitter, white, divorced, born-again Christian men would want to fight us, but a great ice breaker was mutually agreeing that whites are the real oppressed in this country no matter what kind of peer-reviewed sociological statistics lib-tards want to throw in our faces, and before long we had guys all over America sponsoring their own mason jar jerk-off events. Then they would send me all the jars they collected. I quickly ran out of freezer space in my house, and I actually started having to rent out industrial-sized freezers in order to keep the pure white semen as fresh as possible. But, and I’m incredibly thankful, the white supremacy movement has really stepped up to the plate and helped finance this great project with generous donations. It’s just beautiful to see so many whites concerned about losing the majority in America. Doomsday could be just around the corner for the pure white race, and we white crusaders must be prepared with copious, copious volumes of white semen in case the population of pure, white female wombs dwindles to just a few hundred or thousand fertile, child-rearing-aged women.”
Now that phase one of White Semen Doomsday is complete, phase two of actually building the Alaskan vault will begin.
“It took a while, but we finally met our ambitious goal of 3,000 mason jars. It’s a beautiful sight to see one of our freezers with hundreds of jars stacked on crisp, icy metal shelves. Most are labeled by the cities and states they came from, but some participating white supremacy groups are big enough enough that individual streets or hosting homes can fill up jars quick. It’s a relief, too, that the speed of deposit jars coming in to us has gone up so high after a big set-back we faced several months ago. Our first collection effort was tainted by a black guy who we discovered contributing in one of the donation groups. They didn’t get the memo that the project was for whites only. We had about seven hundred mason jars filled when we found out, and we had to start over from scratch just to ensure total white purity. Let me tell you, cleaning out all those jars was rough work.”