White supremacist Richard Spencer’s nonprofit organization, “White Semen Doomsday” has reportedly reached a milestone in collecting its 3,000th mason jar of backup semen, intended to be stockpiled in a snowy Alaskan vault built underground and saved in case white people ever become, in the words of Mr. Spencer, “an endangered race.”
“We have to keep pure white breeds pure and white,” Spencer told The Halfway Post. “If America ever starts getting a little too brown, we can transfer deposits from my collection to get a little more pure white distilling in the gene pool. And in case whites ever become enslaved by minority sub-races, we can take refuge in Alaska, and, like the Jedi in a number of Star Wars films, nurse our people back to cultural and political dominance.”
Spencer says the milestone is bitter-sweet.
“It’s amazing how far we have come since it all began. The White Semen Doomsday project is my most proud accomplishment. It began in my basement, and in the beginning was just me and a couple white supremacist friends jerking off into a jar together for the good of white humanity’s future. We started out meeting once a week, but we just had so much fun contributing to this great cause that it became a daily ritual. The collection grew very slow at first, as we could not produce semen in substantial volumes, even when we were going at it sometimes four or five times a day, every day. I knew we had to outsource. So we started meeting up with a bunch of other white supremacists at random nature campouts we organized thanks to social media, and we gradually warmed them up to joining our crusade. We couldn’t make it seem homosexual, of course, or these bitter, white men might want to fight us, but a great ice-breaker was our mutual agreement that whites are the real oppressed people in this country no matter what kind of peer-reviewed sociological statistics libtards want to throw in our faces. Before long, we had guys all over America sponsoring their own mason jar jerk-off events. Then they would send me all the jars they collected. I quickly ran out of freezer space in my house, and I actually started having to rent out industrial-sized freezers in order to keep the pure white semen as fresh as possible. But, and I’m incredibly thankful, the white supremacy movement has really stepped up to the plate and helped finance this great project with generous financial donations. It’s just beautiful to see so many whites concerned about losing the majority in America. Doomsday could be just around the corner for our kind, and we white crusaders must be prepared to defend our country with copious, copious volumes of white semen in case the population of pure, white female wombs ever dwindles to just a few hundred or thousand fertile, child-rearing women.”
However, now that phase one of White Semen Doomsday is complete, phase two of actually building the Alaskan vault will begin.
“It took a while, but we finally met our ambitious goal of 3,000 mason jars. It’s a beautiful sight to see one of our dozens of freezers with hundreds of jars stacked on crisp, icy metal shelves. Most are labeled by the cities and states they came from, but some participating white supremacy groups are big enough that individual streets or host homes can fill up jars real quick. It’s a relief, too, that the speed of deposit jars coming in to us has gone up so dramatically and efficiently after a big set-back we faced several months ago. Huge disaster. Our very first collection effort was tainted by a black guy who we discovered was contributing in one of the donation groups. Apparently they somehow didn’t get the memo that the project was for whites only. We had about seven hundred mason jars filled at that point when we found out, and we had to start over from scratch. We had to ensure total white purity, you know? I didn’t have a choice but to pour all those milky tadpole-esque future children down the drain. Let me tell you, cleaning out all those jars was rough, rough work. And the cold slush of it all congealed in my pipes and really screwed things up. I like can’t use my sink at all anymore.”