St. Louis, MO—
Local evangelical Christopher Bradshaw is now a three-time winner of his neighborhood’s annual Christmas Tree Competition for Best-In-Show, and he spent the morning looking at his Christmas tree and making some last-minute ornament rearrangements to improve the tree’s glow before his extended-family came over to celebrate a Christmas dinner at his house.
The Halfway Post caught up with Bradshaw this afternoon and asked him some questions about his beloved, award-winning tree.
“I just love Christmas, and the reminder that Baby Jesus came to the world on this day to free mankind from the torment of Hell,” Bradshaw explained. “And there’s no part I love more than having a big living room Christmas tree lighting up the house on Christmas Eve. My family growing up only kept a small tree, and I promised myself when I had my own place and my own family that I would have the best, most beautiful Christmas tree in the whole town, and that’s a promise I have obviously kept.”
On the mantle above the Bradshaw family’s fireplace was a display of the three Christmas tree trophies the family had won.
“I just love how Christian this tradition is, and how it’s totally reverent to God, the Virgin Mary, Joseph, the Three Wise Men, and of Christianity in general. Yep, there is certainly nothing pagan about Christmas trees. Nothing pagan at all! There’s just no way the tradition of contemporary Christians bringing a giant tree into the house had anything to do with, say, ancient Egyptians using green palms to worship Ra, or ancient Romans using fir trees to celebrate Saturnalia, or pagan Germans and Scandinavian Vikings in the single-digit centuries worshipping Thor and other deities via oak trees—no way! Christmas trees are totally an original Christian concept created solely for reverence toward Baby Jesus. Definitely not some kind of convenient adoption of pagan ritual utilized to convert them to Christianity. No siree!”
Congratulations on another award-winning Christmas tree, Chris.
(Picture courtesy of Nick Amoscato.)
Yes, Christmas trees are pagan and I’m proud of that too bad religious fanatics eat a dick.