15 Questions For All The Psychopaths Who WANT To Be President

1. Why do you want to be the person who wakes up every day and decides which Middle Eastern gathering of “combatant-aged” people needs to be droned in the name of national security?

2. Why do you want to be the person who has to direct the military to ignore rampant child sodomy by the Afghan army in order to continue facilitating their cooperation?

3. Are you prepared mentally to make a sweetheart deal with the Taliban so we can have our troops leave Afghanistan?

4. Why do you want to be the person who personally fails to guide common sense gun laws through Congress after each elementary school mass shooting?

5. Would you like to be the first president in decades to act on the words “well-regulated” included in the phrasing of the Second Amendment?

6. Why do you want to have the responsibility to decide whether or not to nuke tens of thousands of innocent strangers in another nation?

7. What would you do if you looked in the NASA/military files and found out aliens are real?

8. What is the red line of human rights violations at which point you would send US troops to intervene in another country’s genocide?

9. Would you invade another country if the United Nations refuses to support a war, and would you secure a Congressional declaration of war first?

10. Do you agree the gold standard is stupid, and why?

11. What number of foreign, democratically-elected leaders overthrown is too many for you?

12. Will you publicly take a few high school-level tests on geography, history, and science?

13. Have you considered nominating Merrick Garland as your first Supreme Court choice?

14. How do you feel about physically fighting Mitch McConnell when he decides to recess the Senate indefinitely so you can accomplish literally nothing?

15. Do you understand how long it will take for the smell of Donald Trump’s excessive hairspray use to be cleaned out of the carpet and drapes?

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

(Picture courtesy of Hannah Rosen.)