Sarah Sanders Denies Leaving White House, So We Know She Actually Is Leaving

Washington D.C.

Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is reportedly leaving the White House, but she lies so often that journalists and media commentators doubted she was telling the truth when she announced her resignation on Twitter.

“Because Sarah at first told everyone that she was retiring, everyone assumed she was staying put and not going anywhere,” explained Fox News journalist Tom Broidy. “Now, if Sarah had said that she was not quitting, and that she would be working in the Trump Administration indefinitely, then we would have figured something was going on because, with Sarah, you basically believe the opposite of whatever she says. Only when she finally said ‘Okay, fine, I’m not leaving’ did we in the press corps finally understand she really was moving on.”

Other media professionals agreed with that sentiment.

“Like everyone, I also had my doubts when I first heard the news,” said Alex Whittier of The New York Times. “You know, it’s kind of unfortunate that Sarah lies about everything, because we reporters all have weird moments with her in the press offices in the White House. Like, one time Sarah was walking past me with her arms full and she dropped a pen, and she asked if I could pick it up for her, so I did the Sarah-math in my head where because she said she wanted the pen picked up I thought she really meant she didn’t want me to pick up the pen, so I just kind of sat there looking at her until she got upset and bent down to pick it up herself, and then she dropped all the papers that were in her arms and made a giant mess. I felt really bad about it all, but, you know, maybe if she just tried to tell the truth occasionally this kind of thing wouldn’t happen.”

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