It’s Apparent Christians Aren’t Praying Hard Enough For Racism To Go Away

St. Louis, MO—

Evangelical Americans are always allegedly praying for America, so how have they not convinced God to stop racism?

Have they truly committed themselves to convincing God to lay off a little on the rampant police brutality? Evangelicals are really letting America down by falling so piously short in their prayer game, aren’t they?

Perhaps America’s modern evangelicals are not monastic enough in focus like Christians used to be in the single-digit centuries. Perhaps Christians should lock themselves up in their homes without distractions, and spend weeks diligently reading the Bible and praying for humanity’s soul.

I suspect few Evangelicals rigorously spend all day and night praying for the end of racism.

 They no doubt waste a lot of free time they could spend begging for the forgiveness of their deity by binge-watching secular television shows like The Office, and absorbing themselves in Godless social media. Perhaps Evangelicals are merely offering token, casual prayers when they wake up in the morning or lie down in bed at night instead of committing to a daily marathon of devotion.

Christians are letting us down, and simultaneously missing a wonderfully valuable opportunity to prove once and for all that the puritan lifestyle committed to Evangelical values they promise will bring everyone peace, health and happiness actually will give all those! Do Evangelicals deserve the fundamentalist theocracy they call for our public government to transform into if they can’t even stop racism with their Godly connection?

And, meanwhile, the police brutality just doesn’t stop. Whatever Christians’ prayer routines are, the efforts are conspicuously not enough. Evangelicals should begin praying night and day with as few breaks as homeostatically possible. They should, no doubt, quit all other hobbies. Every second their prayers fail to bring about the end of racism and police violence is a second wasted to show secularists that God really is sheer goodness, and that He loves us and wants us all to thrive.

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s