Trump Had The Army Clear Protesters So He Could Walk To McDonalds

Washington D.C.—

President Donald Trump is facing criticism over his decision to have soldiers from the Army and National Guard join local D.C. police units to clear protesters from Pennsylvania Avenue so he could walk to McDonalds and do a brief photo-op of him eating several Big Mac sandwiches.

“I think it’s irresponsible,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “The President is, how do you say it… morbidly obese? Obese from a purely objective, medical measurement. He didn’t even walk. He walked twenty feet for some photos, and then got in a golf cart and drove from there. It was only two blocks. And he brought a Bible with him to McDonalds to wave around. How do people fall for that? Do they really believe Donald Trump gives a crap about Jesus because he brought a Bible to McDonalds? I just don’t understand conservatives at all anymore.”

According to eyewitness reports, Trump walked up to the McDonalds counter, saw a black young woman working as cashier, and yelled that he needed a white cashier so that his order wouldn’t be “rigged.” Trump then ordered two Big Macs, two large orders of french fries with extra salt, and the largest size of Diet Coke soda they had. When he got his food, Trump walked to a table and watched audible pornography videos on his phone while he ate.

Follow The Halfway Post, America’s #1 source of satirical news, on Facebook here, Twitter here, Tumblr here, or Instagram here for more liberal comedy, political humor and satire! Also, check out our podcast Brain Milk here!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.