Police Really Regret The Advent Of Cameras On Smart Phones That Everyone Has

Splinterville, MN—

The Halfway Post reached out to the Splinterville police department today, and asked for their opinions on the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent race riots.

One police officer was rather introspective.

“Policing has really changed over my career,” explained Ralph Strippy, a 30-year veteran. “When I started, back in the early 90s, our rules were very relaxed. People didn’t have cameras on them all the time like they have now, so you could put your foot over the line of sadistic brutality a bit and get away with it. You could be out at night on a rural highway, find a car of a couple black kids, and, uh, no one would ever find out what you did, you know what I’m saying? Nowadays, both those kids would be live-streaming the whole interaction onto Facebook from before you even walked up. And when the camera is on, you actually gotta go by the book. The police lawyers can’t help you out with he-said, she-said defenses if there’s publicly broadcast evidence. So if they’re taping, and you still have to do a brutality or two, you have to do it fast. And the less talking the better, because if you get sued it looks bad when the jury can see you were escalating the situation verbally. Yep, things have changed quite a bit. Assaulting an officer and resisting arrest used to be magical citations like a one-size-fits-all kind of crime, but the body cameras we have to wear now rat us out when we’re the ones who do all the escalating. And it adds way more paperwork because you have to be accurate. It looks bad when your report doesn’t resemble anything like what got taped. But all in all, I’d have to say police are largely way less violent than they used to be because of the increased accountability. You should have seen some of the crazy stuff I saw back when I started 30 years ago. You think this brutality is bad… Back then you could get away with just about anything. I actually feel a little guilty for these young cops starting off today. They’ll never know what policing used to be. Yep, I’m sad to say it, but the golden age of policing is long gone.”

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(Picture courtesy of Dave_7.)

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