Washington D.C.—
An executive White House staffer today called The Halfway Post, and explained that a recent discussion between Trump and a dozen or so staffers about US presidential history went off the rails when they discovered Trump was almost entirely ignorant of the subject.
“It was crazy,” said the staffer. “We started talking about presidents, and Trump thought we were making them all up. He said he had never heard of Coolidge, McKinley or Fillmore, among others, so there was no way they existed. So we asked him to name as many as he could, and he could only name Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, FDR, and then Reagan through to himself. That’s only 9 presidents, if you don’t count him! The guy is so dumb he doesn’t even remember all the presidents who served in his lifetime. Then he said he didn’t need to know any presidents because he was smarter and more accomplished than all of them put together. The conversation turned to presidents who died in office, and he started yelling when someone mentioned Garfield because he thought we were making fun of him by naming a cartoon cat to confuse him. He made Mark Meadows print out a list of presidents and say their names out loud, and Trump kept interrupting him by saying ‘no one knows that one, doesn’t count’ like 30 times. After Meadows got through the list it got awkwardly quiet, and then Stephen Miller, who had been listening quietly in the corner of the room, blurted out ‘Adolph Hitler!’ Someone told him we were talking about US presidents only, and he apologized and said he thought we were just mentioning our favorite historical leaders. Eric Trump then chimed in that Chef Boyardee was his favorite president.”
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