Mike Pence Is Concerned About Kamala Harris’s Lack Of Chaperones On The Campaign Trail

Washington D.C.—

Mike Pence raised a lot of eyebrows with the following Twitter thread he tweeted this morning:

“I cannot remain silent anymore about the fact that I am very concerned about Kamala Harris’ conspicuous lack of male chaperones on the campaign trail. I’m worried about the terrible message her promiscuous galavanting about town sends impressionable young girls across these United States!”

“The way she gets up onstage without explicitly showing the audience she has her husband’s permission to speak publicly really offends good Christian women everywhere, and embarrasses the good Christian men who have to listen to her! It’s just not a woman’s place to speak to men about what direction the country should take, especially without her husband standing behind her!”

“Now, if she got up onstage at campaign events to talk about baking pies, or to warn young men about devilish liberal girls trying to steal their virginities with their disgusting satanic vulvas, or apologize on behalf of Eve for eating Eden’s fruit, I’d be all for her wanton unchaperoned traveling!”

“But the fact is that she is mostly traveling alone in a large company of unrelated men without any male family members there to officially represent the Harris family and ensure she doesn’t dishonor her husband, marriage or father! God is very much not happy about her campaign arrangements. Couldn’t she at least bring along a nephew or something?”

“I’m almost thinking about canceling the VP debate! The liberal media has refused all of my preconditions about Ms. Harris making sure she covers her knees, ankles, and elbows with thick, wool clothing (no polyester, per the Bible), and doesn’t speak in any sultry tones or use any double entendres!”

“And the DNC won’t make her promise not to lick her lips, wink at me, or blow a kiss in my direction! The Democrats don’t respect the fact that I only make room in my life for one mother: my wife! I want a Godly debate, not some floozy California debate!”

From The Halfway Post vault:

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