Paul Ryan Endorsed Joe Biden, Apologized For His Emasculated Spinelessness

(Picture courtesy of Tony Alter)

Washington D.C.—

Former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan today published a shocking Twitter thread endorsing Democrat Joe Biden for President over Republican incumbent Donald Trump.

The following are Ryan’s immediately viral tweets announcing his 2020 endorsement:

“Hey, everyone, it has been a long time since I’ve last tweeted, but I have to clear my conscience for myself, my kids, and my beloved nation: Donald Trump CANNOT be reelected. He cannot be given four more years as president of our great nation.”

“Donald Trump has been cruel and horrible in a million ways, and having a Republican in the White House is just not worth dealing with the sociopathic and fascist apocalypse of democracy he has conjured upon America. Democrats simply have to win and return our country to a psychological sanity that Republicans, at the moment, are incapable of giving us.”

“The Faustian bargain I made to leverage Trump’s demagogic appeal and MAGA voting base for a full Republican government in order to pass extreme tax cuts has backfired, and now the endurance of America’s democratic experiment is at stake. Like all Faustian bargains, I was hoisted by my own petard…”

“…As my Frankenstein-ish monstrosity of a House Republican caucus commandeered by Donald Trump’s childish, unleashed id bested my political abilities to wrangle the contemporary GOP’s factional insanities, ended my political enthusiasm for public service, and ultimately left me soulless.”

“Though dealing on a daily basis with Trump’s 5th grade intelligence, utter inability to think of anything or anyone other than himself, and his early signs of dementia were punishments I could barely withstand, I cannot help but lie awake at night thinking how much worse existential vengeance I have earned. I deserve to have to try to explain to his toddler brain how complicated healthcare is every day for a torturous eternity.”

“Like all conservative coalitions expecting to control a racist demagogue before me throughout history, I too lost control of my electorally useful sociopath, and was entirely emasculated trying to maintain the illusion of normalcy while that wannabe dictator mangled and dismantled every safeguard of nonpartisan governmental professionalism standing in his way of corrupt intentions.”

“All those times I said I hadn’t heard his base appeals to Americans’ worst instincts, or I said I hadn’t read his offensive tweets, I was lying. I knew all too well the damage he was doing to our society and culture. Yet I was a coward, and I put my desire of letting already mega rich people and corporations pay even less money in taxes ahead of the institutional stability of the country.”

“I was silent when I could have, and should have, said something or done something. And I wasted several years after leaving Congress reclusively abandoning my responsibility to try and reign in the political monster I helped set free in order to to quietly profit personally in the lucrative private sector world of lobbying and executive boardroom membership thanks to those tax cuts I passed.”

“But no more. I now fully own up to my abject spinelessness; my moral, masculine, and historical cowardice; and my personification of everything that is wrong in contemporary politics. I accept fully the blame for enabling Donald Trump’s worst impulses, his Constitutional subterfuge, and our current governmental psychopathy. I admit I am the worst.”

“It is much too late to prevent Trump from getting elected, but I hope to help prevent his reelection. So I fully endorse Joe Biden with my whole heart. I may never recover my soul from my Faustian bargain, but I hope to reclaim a sliver of my heart, which quivers with despair every time I look into my children’s eyes and see the democratic and free society they will inherit burning in the reflection.”

“So please vote for Joe Biden. America cannot handle another four years of President Donald Trump. There will be no America left. He will degrade it, destroy it, and abandon it like he has degraded, destroyed, and abandoned everything else in his life, from his marriages, to his casinos, to all his personal relationships.”

“So I repeat one last time that Joe Biden is our only hope. Donald Trump cannot be trusted with any quantity of authority or responsibility, no matter how small and insignificant. He is unequivocally the very worst president this nation has ever suffered through, and sorry again for helping push us this close to the precipice of fascism!”

From The Halfway Post vault:

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10 thoughts

  1. Paul Ryan gave Congress to the Democrats. If he had any guts, instead of all of this double talk, he would come out from under his bed and declare himself a Democrat.

  2. I am no politician, but I do missed decent person like you in politics. I can’t understand why there are many abled person in US Politics but allow this incompetent, compulsive liar, womenizer, illiterate (6-7 years old brain) take over the Republican Party. What a waist to loose an abled person like you leaving politics to an IDIOT like him, who can’t even spell THIALAND (THIGH LAND, HA, Ha, HA Trump’s spelling)

  3. What a delusional, self-righteous load of BS. Paul Ryan was a turncoat to the Republican party, our country and to all American people. He sold out for the usual “play to pay – after you leave politics” jobs and lucrative so-called “no-show”
    board positions, (Fox News, anyone. That really answers some questions, doesn’t it?). He was in the once in a lifetime position to help PRESIDENT TRUMP fix so many of the problems progressives and treasonous politicians have caused our country for so long and he bent over and took the “old golden dick” up the ass instead!

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